hmmm... im back again.. after a very long period of time.. a new and improved me! kelan lang.. nung saturday.. was our sectoral assembly for YFC... daming nag-share.. daming nag salita.. talagang nakakapag bago ng buhay mga sinabi nila.. tlgang sablay ako! hahaha.. it was fun.. it was a good experience.. 

hay.. i kind of feel sad.. na ewan.. i felt that i was like a start... trying to shine so hard.. until somebody said to me, "hey, you're shine is growing dim...", so i said to that person, "because i was trying to shine so hard, for someone who's glance was never really mine..", parang ganyan nararamdaman ko ngaun.. everytime i try and think about it, it kinda hurts.. although i shouldn't be hurt about it.. anyway.. kung nababasa mo man ito.. sana.. sana lang tlga.. just be happy.. stay happy.. yan na lang ang maipag dadasal ko para sa iyo.. nang maging masaia ka.. basta may problema ka, nandito lang ako palagi.. never to leave your side..

waaaaah! namimiss ko naang phone ko.. hehehe.. ok lang.. nagaadjust na din ako sa sun cel kong phone.. hehehe.. anyway.. bigyan nyo naman ako ng comment or something para malaman ko na may nagbabasa pa nito.. hahaha... cge.. ingat.. i'll be back here.. soon..

hmmm... here i am again.. i just love to write here now.. since my poetry notebook is still with someone else, and i made a new ntbk but i can't seem to start writing in it, i'll just let my time pass away writing here in xanga for the time-being. anyway... so, what could i write about today..?

a friend.. a word so easily worn out, sometimes even taken for granted. what does one do to find a "perfect" friend---or does that person even exist? sometimes, it's so hard to find a friend, especially in a new environment. at first, it would be so hard trying to fit in, and believe me, it is. but as time passes by,  people get a bit more comfortable with each other. they loosen up a bit and be a bit more frank with you. sometimes, you would encounter those so-called "friends" of yours that hang-around you ONLY when you have some sort of service for them. it really sucks that you keep doing good for them, and after you do that particular deed, they would treat you like some sort of crap that needs to be scraped of the pavement.

real friends are the one that really hang around. they stick to you like glue. and i don't mean creepy people that hang around you. those are stalkers. hahaha! you know, there are only a handful of people that i know that i can consider real friends. the people that don't treat me like crap. the people dont leave my side, especially when i needed them the most.

i can count those kind of people i know with my right hand.. some are also good, yet, not the one's qualified to be "real". i know you guys also have friends that can be "real", you just haven't found the time to look for them--- or better yet, notice them. maybe look around the corner, you'd see them. or take a look at your cellphone, you might read a message from them asking "how are you?", it's those simple things that really count.

you might think that there's no one in this world that still cares about you, when you've think you've already given up, smile, then say, "i'll find you yet.." then that person my just come around and knock on your door.. -Michael Roy Reyes

hay... i dont really know.. i just wanna write this.. and NO, this is not a copy-paste like the last 2 entries..

why is it that when you would fall in love with someone, that's the time when they would suddenly leave your side, or at least your heart, like pooof! I mean, isn't that so ironic that when you start realizing that the person you really like is someone is really a person you love, that person sunddenly says, "Your really a great FRIEND to me..", sad right? "Would there really come a time when you would find someone right?", that would probably be your first question. And the next whine you would say is, "I'd like to die... end my life..". I dont really know... if we would really be ready enough to make a commitment such as a relationship, and, make it last.

i really wonder, what would be better, to know that someone loves u, yet, u dont have the same feelings as that person has for you? or the other way around, loving a person who doesn't pretty much have any care for you in that department..? maybe answers would vary.. some has said to me, it was better if that person loved me, because i can learn to love that person back. but i realized that was not applicable to me. because i have experienced it before.. yet it did not work out.. i dont the feeling, did i just waste the love? did i just throw those feelings away---- the feeling that you would throw last, LOVE?

or the other way around..? loving someone that doesn't, in all frankness, love you. Now, that would also hurt the other way around. This would severely hurt YOU. And believe me, i know. It would absolutely devastate everything you have made, you have built. You would rather have died than to have wasted all your time, all your energy, all your feelings, on something so down-right inevitable. That the person you have loved so much, thinks your just a friend.

The real challenge would be knowing how to overcome this.. the feeling of failure. Yun bang dahil nag-fail ka na sa isang love mo, parang wala ka nang silbi, ok lang sayo kahit mamatay ka na. Pero ang tanong, may mangyayari bang maganda pag namatay kna? Wala. Zero. Nada. Mas dadami lang ang magiging malungkot sa pagkamatay mo. Nver think that you are just "no one" to everyone. If you think like that, think again. There is that special someone, yung tipong tao na pagkinausap mo, laging andyan lang siya. Hindi ka nya dinededma pag magkasama kayo, or hindi ka nya kinakausap dahil lang naaawa sya sayo kasi walang kumakausap sayo. May isang tao na totoo tlga.. na d ka nya iiwan.. haha,you may ask,"does this person even exist?!" hmm..... OO, he exists. You just have to find that person. Mahirap sya hanapin, yes. Pero that person would be a treasure for life. Siya yung taong pag galit ka sa kanya, hindi sya titigil sa kaka-sorry hanggat d mo siay napapatawad.. ganun ang tunay na kaibigan. But then, you suddenly realize..

that person.. who stood by you all the way... was really the one, who would make your life complete. The One. -Michael Roy Reyes

When to let go.

Imagine this...

In your hand is a very precious creation, so
fragile,
so valuable that if you keep on holding, it
would either stay or
fall apart. But you loved this creature so much,
so much that letting
it go would be like letting go of your life as
well. So much that
sometimes you wished it would be there forever.
So much that you tend
to be selfish at times so as you could make it
stay for as long as
you like. Don't we all wish something "so good"
could be forever?
Don't we all hope that happiness is there to
stay?

There comes a time in our lives when we chance
upon someone "so nice"
and "almost perfect" and we just find ourselves
getting so intensely
attracted to that person (sometimes without even
realizing it). This
feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives
and eventually
guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent
that we tagged it as
one of those "too good to be true" thing.

The sad part there is when we begin to realize
that, this particular
person feels totally nothing but friendship.
A "thing" that would be
forever a "thing" nothing more, nothing
less...just a thing! You're
just a friend, And that's the fact! Then in our
desperate attempt to
get closer (or at least Be noticed), our efforts
are still futile and
we end up sorry for ourselves.

One person said, never ever let your heart run
your life, as much as
you can, always be sensible and let your mind
speak for itself. Try
to listen not merely on what your feelings is
invoking on you as a
person but more importantly listen to reason as
well.

Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean
you have to stop
loving, it only means that you allow that person
to find his own
happiness without expecting him to come back.
Letting go is not just
setting the other person free (in the real sense
of it), but it is
also setting yourself free from all animosity,
revulsion, and
resentment that was long kept in your heart. You
have to let go
because the bitterness often puts away the
strengths and weakens the
littlest hope, making our lives more miserable
than ever. Worst,
presenting yourself as the "most affected one"
sets the nastiest
impression of all time--whatta a loser!

The trick there is...always remember that 'if
you
lose someone today,
it means that someone better is coming tomorrow.'
If you lose love that doesn't mean that you
failed in love...right?
Just regard it as another mismatch of heaven!
Well, you can cry of
course, or whine or shout (growl even) if you
have to, but make sure
that after those outbursts you have washed away
the hurt and the
bitterness that the past Has left with you (easy
said than done I
know!).

We can all survive with just beautiful memories
of the past but real
peace and happiness come only with open
acceptance of what reality is
today. You really don't have to forget someone
you love ('cause it's
hard). What we need to learn is how to accept
the
verdict of reality
without being bitter or sorry for what we have
become. I think it's
better that we give off that dedication and love
to someone more
deserving. Hmmm..."Who could it be" is the next
interesting question
to ponder. Let go of yesterday and love will
find
its wayback to you.
And when it does, pray hard that it may be the
love that will stay
and last a lifetime.