akocmike's Xanga

Monday, April 25, 2005

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 10:17:09 GMT

hmmm... im back again.. after a very long period of time.. a new and improved me! kelan lang.. nung saturday.. was our sectoral assembly for YFC... daming nag-share.. daming nag salita.. talagang nakakapag bago ng buhay mga sinabi nila.. tlgang sablay ako! hahaha.. it was fun.. it was a good experience..

hay.. i kind of feel sad.. na ewan.. i felt that i was like a start... trying to shine so hard.. until somebody said to me, "hey, you're shine is growing dim...", so i said to that person, "because i was trying to shine so hard, for someone who's glance was never really mine..", parang ganyan nararamdaman ko ngaun.. everytime i try and think about it, it kinda hurts.. although i shouldn't be hurt about it.. anyway.. kung nababasa mo man ito.. sana.. sana lang tlga.. just be happy.. stay happy.. yan na lang ang maipag dadasal ko para sa iyo.. nang maging masaia ka.. basta may problema ka, nandito lang ako palagi.. never to leave your side..

waaaaah! namimiss ko naang phone ko.. hehehe.. ok lang.. nagaadjust na din ako sa sun cel kong phone.. hehehe.. anyway.. bigyan nyo naman ako ng comment or something para malaman ko na may nagbabasa pa nito.. hahaha... cge.. ingat.. i'll be back here.. soon..

Friday, April 15, 2005

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 12:23:12 GMT

hmmm... here i am again.. i just love to write here now.. since my poetry notebook is still with someone else, and i made a new ntbk but i can't seem to start writing in it, i'll just let my time pass away writing here in xanga for the time-being. anyway... so, what could i write about today..?

a friend.. a word so easily worn out, sometimes even taken for granted. what does one do to find a "perfect" friend---or does that person even exist? sometimes, it's so hard to find a friend, especially in a new environment. at first, it would be so hard trying to fit in, and believe me, it is. but as time passes by, people get a bit more comfortable with each other. they loosen up a bit and be a bit more frank with you. sometimes, you would encounter those so-called "friends" of yours that hang-around you ONLY when you have some sort of service for them. it really sucks that you keep doing good for them, and after you do that particular deed, they would treat you like some sort of crap that needs to be scraped of the pavement.

real friends are the one that really hang around. they stick to you like glue. and i don't mean creepy people that hang around you. those are stalkers. hahaha! you know, there are only a handful of people that i know that i can consider real friends. the people that don't treat me like crap. the people dont leave my side, especially when i needed them the most.

i can count those kind of people i know with my right hand.. some are also good, yet, not the one's qualified to be "real". i know you guys also have friends that can be "real", you just haven't found the time to look for them--- or better yet, notice them. maybe look around the corner, you'd see them. or take a look at your cellphone, you might read a message from them asking "how are you?", it's those simple things that really count.

you might think that there's no one in this world that still cares about you, when you've think you've already given up, smile, then say, "i'll find you yet.." then that person my just come around and knock on your door.. -Michael Roy Reyes

Friday, April 15, 2005

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 07:26:47 GMT

hmmm... ok naman araw ko.. masaia.. today's a friday right? yup... so that would mean na wala kming practice.. so i started the day heading out to marist (again) to play the game i love.. basketball. hahaha! walang kasawaang basketball.. hehe.. mga 3 hours ako dun.. wala nga ako ksama eh.. may basketball clinic kasi.. kaia dami din mga tao.. pero ung tlgang mga kakilala ko, wala.. ung mga balibol lang dun... hehehe... so ayun na.. shooting lang ako.. and in all fairness.. maganda shooting ko knina.. sana ganon din kaganda un bukas pag may practice na.. hahaha.. hmm.. i'll write here again later.. gonna think of my next article..

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 14:22:24 GMT

hay... i dont really know.. i just wanna write this.. and NO, this is not a copy-paste like the last 2 entries..

why is it that when you would fall in love with someone, that's the time when they would suddenly leave your side, or at least your heart, like pooof! I mean, isn't that so ironic that when you start realizing that the person you really like is someone is really a person you love, that person sunddenly says, "Your really a great FRIEND to me..", sad right? "Would there really come a time when you would find someone right?", that would probably be your first question. And the next whine you would say is, "I'd like to die... end my life..". I dont really know... if we would really be ready enough to make a commitment such as a relationship, and, make it last.

i really wonder, what would be better, to know that someone loves u, yet, u dont have the same feelings as that person has for you? or the other way around, loving a person who doesn't pretty much have any care for you in that department..? maybe answers would vary.. some has said to me, it was better if that person loved me, because i can learn to love that person back. but i realized that was not applicable to me. because i have experienced it before.. yet it did not work out.. i dont the feeling, did i just waste the love? did i just throw those feelings away---- the feeling that you would throw last, LOVE?

or the other way around..? loving someone that doesn't, in all frankness, love you. Now, that would also hurt the other way around. This would severely hurt YOU. And believe me, i know. It would absolutely devastate everything you have made, you have built. You would rather have died than to have wasted all your time, all your energy, all your feelings, on something so down-right inevitable. That the person you have loved so much, thinks your just a friend.

The real challenge would be knowing how to overcome this.. the feeling of failure. Yun bang dahil nag-fail ka na sa isang love mo, parang wala ka nang silbi, ok lang sayo kahit mamatay ka na. Pero ang tanong, may mangyayari bang maganda pag namatay kna? Wala. Zero. Nada. Mas dadami lang ang magiging malungkot sa pagkamatay mo. Nver think that you are just "no one" to everyone. If you think like that, think again. There is that special someone, yung tipong tao na pagkinausap mo, laging andyan lang siya. Hindi ka nya dinededma pag magkasama kayo, or hindi ka nya kinakausap dahil lang naaawa sya sayo kasi walang kumakausap sayo. May isang tao na totoo tlga.. na d ka nya iiwan.. haha,you may ask,"does this person even exist?!" hmm..... OO, he exists. You just have to find that person. Mahirap sya hanapin, yes. Pero that person would be a treasure for life. Siya yung taong pag galit ka sa kanya, hindi sya titigil sa kaka-sorry hanggat d mo siay napapatawad.. ganun ang tunay na kaibigan. But then, you suddenly realize..

that person.. who stood by you all the way... was really the one, who would make your life complete. The One. -Michael Roy Reyes

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 10:38:17 GMT

When to let go.

Imagine this...

In your hand is a very precious creation, so
fragile,
so valuable that if you keep on holding, it
would either stay or
fall apart. But you loved this creature so much,
so much that letting
it go would be like letting go of your life as
well. So much that
sometimes you wished it would be there forever.
So much that you tend
to be selfish at times so as you could make it
stay for as long as
you like. Don't we all wish something "so good"
could be forever?
Don't we all hope that happiness is there to
stay?

There comes a time in our lives when we chance
upon someone "so nice"
and "almost perfect" and we just find ourselves
getting so intensely
attracted to that person (sometimes without even
realizing it). This
feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives
and eventually
guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent
that we tagged it as
one of those "too good to be true" thing.

The sad part there is when we begin to realize
that, this particular
person feels totally nothing but friendship.
A "thing" that would be
forever a "thing" nothing more, nothing
less...just a thing! You're
just a friend, And that's the fact! Then in our
desperate attempt to
get closer (or at least Be noticed), our efforts
are still futile and
we end up sorry for ourselves.

One person said, never ever let your heart run
your life, as much as
you can, always be sensible and let your mind
speak for itself. Try
to listen not merely on what your feelings is
invoking on you as a
person but more importantly listen to reason as
well.

Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean
you have to stop
loving, it only means that you allow that person
to find his own
happiness without expecting him to come back.
Letting go is not just
setting the other person free (in the real sense
of it), but it is
also setting yourself free from all animosity,
revulsion, and
resentment that was long kept in your heart. You
have to let go
because the bitterness often puts away the
strengths and weakens the
littlest hope, making our lives more miserable
than ever. Worst,
presenting yourself as the "most affected one"
sets the nastiest
impression of all time--whatta a loser!

The trick there is...always remember that 'if
you
lose someone today,
it means that someone better is coming tomorrow.'
If you lose love that doesn't mean that you
failed in love...right?
Just regard it as another mismatch of heaven!
Well, you can cry of
course, or whine or shout (growl even) if you
have to, but make sure
that after those outbursts you have washed away
the hurt and the
bitterness that the past Has left with you (easy
said than done I
know!).

We can all survive with just beautiful memories
of the past but real
peace and happiness come only with open
acceptance of what reality is
today. You really don't have to forget someone
you love ('cause it's
hard). What we need to learn is how to accept
the
verdict of reality
without being bitter or sorry for what we have
become. I think it's
better that we give off that dedication and love
to someone more
deserving. Hmmm..."Who could it be" is the next
interesting question
to ponder. Let go of yesterday and love will
find
its wayback to you.
And when it does, pray hard that it may be the
love that will stay
and last a lifetime.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 14:02:18 GMT

never lose your wallet

Some people tell us that
wallets are a lot like girls, "Dapat mong
ingatan, kasi kung hindi mo iningatan, baka may
mangyari."

I know what he means. I just lost a wallet,
and I just lost a girl. You know, it's the exact
same thing.

One day, you just realize it's gone. You try
to look for it everywhere, even going back to
the places where you could have lost it.

You think, and you think hard, only to come
upon a grim realization: it's really gone.

Of course, you can hold on to some hope.
After all, there have been some very, very lucky
(blessed?) people who get it back.

Perhaps you could become one of those people.
You sit home and you hope that someone would
call, and that you would get it back. But then,
some time passes, and you realize that it's
still gone, and you realize that it's time to
let go.

The first few days, you turn to your friends
for support. Some tell you you'll be ok, some
tell you that it was your fault and that you
should have been more careful, and some tell you
about their own experiences.

They give you all sorts of advice, none you
haven't heard before.

You then go out to find a new wallet, only to
realize that you don't really want a new one.
You want the old one that you lost.

No, you don't want all these better-looking
wallets, you want yours, because of how
comfortable it is, because of all the cards and
pictures and other stuff in it.

You go out and carry on without a wallet,
keeping your money in your pocket instead. You
throw away stuff that you would have held on to
if you had your old wallet. And then, finally,
you find a new wallet you like and settle in.

You then start filling your new wallet,
little by little. It still doesn't feel as
comfortable as the old one, but it's getting
there.

Then you start putting in cards and pictures
and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon
enough, there's as much stuff in your new wallet
as the old one. And then, after some time, you
feel as comfortable with your new wallet.

And then you realize that you've almost
forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure,
you still remember most of the stuff you lost on
that wallet. But then again, you don't remember
the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost
it.

That's because that wallet you lost is no
longer your wallet. You're no longer holding on.
This new wallet you're holding, it has all the
important cards and pictures and stuff that you
need. This is your wallet.

And this time, you tell yourself, you're
never losing this one..

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 13:53:12 GMT

ahahaha... now im back!!! you guys know, dahil lang sa isang very dear friend ko na nagbabasa nitong xanga ko, maguupdate nko regularly!! hahahaha... kakainspire noH?? thnx *****!! hehehe... kaka boring kasi dati dahil ala naman ata nagbabasa nito, kaia nakakatamad mag update, pero ngaun may nagbabasa na, i will update it again! hmm.. i had a good and bad week. last thursday, i met up with my friend sa RP... actually, it was our first time to see each other, kinda like an EB.. madami na kaming pinag samahan.. khit hanggang text lang at fone. so we decided to meet up..

Ngkita kmi sa may unahan ng cinehan.. we walked around.. and we watched SpongeBob the Movie!! astig naman dn.. and then, nung dumating na barkada nya, i kind of gotten shy, kasi parang ndi nko makarelate.. hahaha.. and i also knew that my other 2 friends were also at the mall, kaia sa kanila nlng ako sumama.. ung isa ndi sanay mag commute, kaia nag taxi pa kmi pauwi... hahaha.. pero it was fun.. i had a blast.. until it was all ruined.. how do i say it, im not going to go into the details.. the only thing i can say is sana maging open minded ka naman sa sasabihin ko, pakinggang mo at intindihin m sna.. khit isang salita.. IM NOT A SQUEELER. it really pissed me off and it totally ruined my almost perfect day..

by the way, may sun cellular sim nko.. feel free to text me up 09225846022

so my week was kinda tiring.. no, let me re-phrase, VERY tiring.. it sucked. i hated it. my legs totally gurt because of basketball practice.

alam nyo, ito lang tlga ung kinakainisan ko eh.. i always had time to listen to you, kahit anong oras, kahit anong araw. kahit pa pagalitan nko dahil sa sobrang late na, i always try and listen to u and your problems. alam ko there's no chance in HELL na basahin mo ito, pero kung mabasa mo man ito, please naman, ako naman pakinggan mo. lalo na ngaun. misunderstanding lang ito. alam mo, ang saia saia ng frienship natin, ewan ko sau, pero i would never wanted it to end this way, LALO NA THIS WAY. i hope you would have time to listen to me. to my problems. to my shoutouts. especially when they count.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 02:36:26 GMT

hey.. wow.. may nagbabasa pla nito.. now may gana na ulit ako magsulat d2.. hehe.. anyway.. its so hot!!! super hot.. anyway.. a lot has happened this week.. kahit tuesday plng!! nung monday, was the first time that i played basketball again.. maybe after 2 weeks.. 9am praktis nmin for PASARELLE.. 7am nsa marist nko nun.. just to warm up a bit.. i shot some shots.. 3pt. shots.. ang dami kong ngawa.. made most of them.. maybe 11/20.. 3pt shots.. hahaha!!! asa... anyway.. then prktis na.. nasiko ako sa labi ni gian.. sabog gums ko.. it still hurts... so hard to eat.. hahaha.. pero nung tuesday.. laro kmi sa YFC ng basket... sila kuya migz at kaloy.. hahaha.. nakita ko ulit si nytha after a very long period of time.. so i shot around.. puro kapos!!! kapos karamihan ng tira ko.. hahaha... so im here.. resting.. buti nga na-cancel ung prktis nmin for ASPIRANTS eh.. hay.. tas nung monday.. nagalit skin si cay.. kasi ang bad daw ng reaction ko nung nakita ko daw ung pic nya nung concert.. hehe.. pero ngaun.. ok na ulit kmi.. dont worry guys!!! i'll be updating this regularly now.. ingat.. stepback_andshoot@yahoo.com

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:42:02 GMT

hehehhee.. how long has it been? wala lang.. wala naman ata nagbabasa nito eh!!!!! grrrr... cge nga, mag-comment nga kau kung nababasa nyo ito?! hehehe.. joke.. eto, tired.. pero happy. happy that tapos na school year.. tired that nsa ospital ako almost the whole week.. na stroke ulit dad ko.. and it reached a point where he was at a critical stage.. pero ok na lahat.. and2 na sya sa bahay.. kaia i have God to thank for that.. anyway... speak up naman kung may nkakabasa nito.. kain lang ako..

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 02:24:57 GMT

heya.. hehehe.. andito na naman ako.. hahaha.. ay nako.. sakit pa ng mata ko.. puyat ata ako eh.. malamang.. may ISANG TAO akong kausap mula 9:30 ng gabi hanggang 2 ng umaga.. BAKA LANG BASAHIN NYA ITO... ANG TIBAY MO... hahahahhahaha!! joke lang... anyway.. masaia saia naman araw ko.. nakikinig ako ng session road.. nakaka-relax ang sound.. anyway.. cluster meeting mamaya.. that's gonna be fun... knowing na makikita ko ulit mga tao tao.. hahaha... skit pa mata ko.. hehehe.. after a very long chat.. hehehe.. haaaayyy.. naaalala ko na naman na madami nga palang projects... i gotta sort things out muna.. i usually type here and update my blog when i dont really have anything to do.. but for this instance, i do this to try and forget the tons of things i HAVE to do! anyway.. here's a little poem i wrote a couple of month's back.. hope u like it..

Tuwing naaalala ka…

Ako’y nakatingin sa bintana…

Hinihintay ang araw na ako’y magiging malaya…

Ang lakas ng buhos ng ulan…

Pero imbis na lungkot, saya ang naramdaman…

Naaalala kita…

Ang mga panahon na tayo’y maligaya…

Kahit gano katagal, ako’y maghihintay…

Dahil isa kang taong walang kapantay…

Nabibingi ako sa laki ng mga patak…

Lalo na sa mga tawa mong tunay na galak…

Talagang napamahal mo ako…

At sana’y hindi ito magbago…

Ngayon ay nandito ka na…

Ngayon, ako’y tuwang tuwa…

Dahil pag-ibig natin ay konkreto…

Basta nandito ka, buhay ko’y kumpleto!

Mike``